Opposite lives
by vitanisaiyanqueen
Summary: well, this is my first fanfic humor so... what will happen is goku and vegeta switch bodies? read to find out more!
1. opposite lives

**Opposite Lives**

Hello! Hola! And any other way you say "hello" in this damn world. I'm new here so I'm looking forward to have a good time here at fanfiction. I have a LOT of stories to add here and I hope you'll like them! Caution: story might cause confusion.

Chapter 1: "Switcheroo!"

"If Bulma was my wife, she wouldn't have to suffer a great deal of stress!" Goku screamed.

"Oh please!" Vegeta scoffed, "As if you don't have problems with that harpy of yours! You have to be an idiot to have a woman boss you… never mind."

"Hey! I understand that!"

They were at it again. Arguing about whose family life is better. Which would you prefer? A family that is FULLY CONTROLLED by the mother or a family that is constantly quarreling with each other? Both saiyans couldn't stand the way the other dealt with their wives, the way Vegeta ignores Bulma every day (except for that certain time), and the way Goku grovels at Chichi's feet.

"How about a deal, Vegeta." Goku stated, a determined look crossing his face.

"What deal?"

"Let's make a wish on the dragon balls to switch bodies for 3 months. With that done, we can prove which family is better off at the other one's hands."

"No deal!" Vegeta grunted, "Why would I change bodies with you? It crawls my blood to even touch you, let alone switching bodies with you, sharing the bed with YOUR harpy, eating YOUR food, breathing the diseased air in YOUR house!"

"Fine. That's okay, Vegeta." Goku smiled, turning his back at the prince. "I understand this would be too scary for a pampered baby chicken like you."

"What?!" Vegeta shouted. No one should call him a chicken unless they're looking for death wish!

"Admit it, Vegeta. You're saying all those things because you're scared!"

"Don't you DARE compare me to fowl? I will show you whose chicken! Consider it done!"

"Consider what done? What are you saying, Vegeta?"

"The deal, you baka!"

An half an hour pass goku and vegeta got the dragon balls and carried them to a plain to avoid suspicion from chi-chi and bulma.

Goku chanted the spell to summon shenron from the dragon balls, waiting for the dragon to finish spiraling from the glowing orbs.

"Are you done making a dramatic entrance?" vegeta folded his arms in annoyance.

The dragon sighed heavily at the prince's impatience and finally bellower, "what is your wish?"

"Shenron! Can you help us with something?" Goku asked.

"Of course, what is it?"

"Well me and vegeta, the short guy next to me."

"Can it baka!" he snarled interrupting him.

"Well, as I was saying, we made a deal today, and we would like you to switch our bodies with each other for 3 month's"

Shenron raised his eyebrow about the wish, but shrugged it off; He does not even want to know what they are planning to do.

"Fine" he bellowed," "your wish is granted."

Right after that, Goku and Vegeta started to glow. The glowing light left their bodies and darted towards the bother saiyan's body.

Vegeta's light which was his spirit drove into's goku's body and goku's spirit entered vegeta.

It took a while to come through after the switch; both were not pleased with the result.

"Aww man! I am short! And your voice sound's too deep!" The new vegeta pouted.

"speak for yourself!" the new goku started to scratch is head in a frenzy. "What is this lice?!"

"Lice?! Take that back, veg- I mean gok- I mean, kakarot!."

Shenron sigh again and began to disappear. They certainly didn't need anymore help and he doesn't want to be around to listen to them constantly.

They were too distracted about their problem too see that the dragon balls shoot off in different directions.

Vegeta now referred to as goku, lit up at 'vegetas' last remark.

"That's right! We have to remember that were not ourselves anymore! Before we do anything kakaro- I mean, vegeta, we need to know everything about each other to avoid suspicion with our wives."

"That's right!" vegeta beamed " And since your me now , you need to smile a lot."

"But you do smile sometimes"

"I smirk, not smile. There's a difference between them!"

"ok, got it." Vegeta nodded. As if that was an important detail to remember. But seeing that this is goku in vegeta's body, that might be the most important of all!

"I like to eat a lot, just let you know." Vegeta implied.

"I also search for opponents to fight with I love to play in the water fall, I also snore a lot and I-"

"vegeta!" goku snarled "The main reason we change bodies for is to prove who deals with their family best! I f we act exactly alike, it won't prove anything! It'll still be the same!" goku stated.

"oh, you're right." Vegeta pouted again

goku groaned.

" And since you're me know, you need to work on your intelligence." Goku stated.

Well that's it for chapter 1 I hope you enjoyed it! Review please


	2. get uses to things

**"Opposite Lives"**

Sorry for letting you wait for chapter 2! Can't have a mob chase me on my first time on Fanfiction! Anyway, here's chapter 2 for you so enjoy!

Chapter 2: "Getting used to things"

Hours passed, they were finally done discussing about each other's daily lifestyle. The new Goku took in the new Vegeta's information quite easily. The reason why the discussion took so long is because Vegeta(Goku) had to go through eight sessions to learn Vegeta's attitude by heart. Learning how to talk smart, insult, and even growl was a challenge! After they- mostly Vegeta- finally gets it, they went back home to put it to the test. 'Vegeta' head for Capsule Corp, and 'Goku' flew to the forest where the real Goku lives.

"Good luck, Kakarot" Vegeta(Goku) beamed.

"Stop smiling! You'll blow our cover!" Goku(Vegeta) frowned, "Don't forget anything!"

After memorizing everything that is Goku, Vegeta- oops-Goku finally landed by the house, just in time for his first quarrel with Chichi.

"Goku! There you are! Where were you? You've been gone for hours!"

Goku(Vegeta) groaned._ Three months with this harpy? I don't think switching was a good idea.._

"Look, Chichi, I-"

" Don't you 'look chichi' me! You're always gone! Everyday it's the same thing and I'm sick of it!"

A frown already formed on Goku(Vegeta)'s face. He was not going to get bossed around by this harpy! The real Goku is at least- one hundred billion times stronger than her. Why is she wearing the pants in their relationship?

"That's it, Goku! If you do it one more time, you better find someone else to cook for you! You hear me? You can for-"

"**SHUT the HELL UP!!!" **he roared.

Chichi froze at the sudden remark. That was new.

"Wha-"

"Shut up already! Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up!"

"Where is this behavior coming from? I bet is from hanging around constantly with Vegeta, isn't it? It's not like you, Goku."

"It's mostly from marrying you! It's normal for guys to go on an outrage every once in a while."

"I don't like the new you, Goku. You're mean!"

Goku(Vegeta) nearly fell back anime-style at what Chichi said. "Me? Mean?!" he started to laugh hysterically.

"That's rich! I can't believe you even said that! You, the queen of hell, calling me mean!"

"The queen of hell?!" she roared, "Who are you? Where's the old Goku?"

"He got smarter." Goku smirked. _Oops! No smirking!_"I'm claiming my place as the real leader of this family! You- on the other hand- need to back off!"

Chichi frowned at Goku. She's not going to lose the respect she worked so hard for.

"Not without a fight!" she growled.

"Aww. That's cute, Chichi." Goku( Vegeta) smiled. He was amazed at how easy it was to smile in Goku's body. In his own body, it was really difficult. One time, it took him 5 minutes to even raise the corner of his lip an inch! Chichi got herself in a battle stance.

"Are you really going to fight me Chichi?"

Still no reply from the determined Chichi.

"Are you willing to get breast cancer?"

Chichi stood shock still after that was spoken!

"What you don't want to fight anymore? That's a shame." Goku grinned. Controling Chichi is easy! He couldn't believe it! If he said that to Bulma, He wouldn't hear the end of it!

" Now that this is over with, would you mind making something for dinner?

Meanwhile, at Capsule Corp… 

"Vegeta, can you do a favor for me?" Bulma chirped. Vegeta(Goku) couldn't understand why the real Vegeta thinks she's a nuisance! She was so easy to deal with. Just do some chores, and… that's it! No fighting or door slamming will happen. He wished Chichi was this way.

"I'm done, Bulma." Vegeta(Goku) announced.

"That's great, Vegeta! I'm liking the new you already!"

Vegeta(Goku) smirked. "That's nice of you to say that."

He then turned around and snickered. _"This is __too__ easy! She's buying it !"_

"Something wrong, Vegeta?"

"No." he snapped, "I'm fine."

"Okay then! Hey, do want me to make something for dinner tonight?" She asked.

"NO!" Vegeta(Goku) cried. Suddenly, he wants Chichi back. Bulma's cooking is horrendous.

"How about we go out tonight?" he asked nervously. That only made Bulma smile even more.

"Of course, Vegeta! That'll be great!" she squealed, hugging him tightly.

"_Wow."_ Goku thought, _" I can see Vegeta never takes her out anywhere!"_

" Come on, Veggie! Let's go, let's go, let's go!"

"Ok, woman! Just calm down!"

It was hard to find Vegeta's bedroom in a giant house, but after a few tries, he found it. No one else in Capsule Corp. could decorate a bedroom wall with fist-shaped dents. He looked in the closet and grimaced. The real Vegeta likes tights a bit too much! He managed to find a couple of baggy pants and tried one on. It wasn't as spacious as his gi, but it will do. He then put on a white vest and a black jacket over it. After looking at the mirror, he changed his mind. He looked like a thug or someone you just don't want to mess with. That IS Vegeta's style! Vegeta(Goku) took off the jacket and put on a blue shirt over it instead.

"There!" he smiled, "More civilized!" _Oops! No smiling…_

Later at the restaurant, Bulma and Vegeta(Goku) was chatting about their day. Vegeta had to lie about his day, not wanting Bulma to find out about the 'switcheroo'. The waiter came in and took their orders. Bulma took spaghetti and meatballs, along with a salad, and Vegeta(Goku) took one of everything.

Of course Vegeta eats a lot, seeing that it's normal for saiyans to consume 120 pounds of food each day. Goku, on the other hand, eats way more than that! Bulma always know Vegeta's appetite, he taking one of everything on the menu, but if she's with Goku, she'd need more credit cards.

After they finished eating and paying the check, they left the restaurant and went back to Capsule Corp.

"I enjoyed tonight, Vegeta." Bulma smiled, blushed a bit.

"O-okay, that's nice." Vegeta(Goku) laughed nervously._ Oops! No laughing…_

They stared at each other for a long time, his reflection trapped in her eyes.

"Okay!" Vegeta(Goku) stated, interrupting the moment, "Time for bed!"

He was going to his room, but Bulma stopped him, grabbing him by the arm.

"Where are you going, Veggie? Come with me." She blused, staring at him with half-lidded eyes. Blood rose up to his face. He never saw this side of Bulma before. NEVER.

"No thanks, Bulma. I'm fine."

"Onegai shimasu?" she pondered, "Please, Vegeta?"

"O-okay…" Vegeta(Goku) blushed, letting himself get carried away inside.

_What will happen next? Will Goku handle it? What's Vegeta doing during this time? Until then, see ya!_


	3. Range of fire

I was so busy at the time, so I didn't get to do anything. Anyway, I'm back and I'm starting a new chapter! (I'm falling back on my duties…)

"Opposite Lives"

Chapter 3-"Range of Fire"

Vegeta's(Goku) head was spinning. He can't do this! Not with Bulma! It's suicide!

"B-Bulma, I d-don't think I-"

"C'mon, Vegeta! You love this, don't you?"

Oh great. The real Vegeta didn't tell him he liked sex! He thought that seeing them arguing a lot means they don't do it often. Man, they're confusing! They were already in the bedroom. Bulma finally let him go and headed for the bathroom.

"Sit down and relax, Vegeta. I'll be back!"

There weren't any chairs in the room. Sit on the bed? The bed?! Bulma's bed?!

"I'm not ready for this!" he shuddered.

Frantically, Vegeta(Goku) reached for the phone and dial in his home number. He listened impatiently as the phone rings. And rings, and rings.

"Answer the phone, Vegeta! Please!"

"Hello. This is Goku."

"Yes! Vegeta, I have a problem with-"

"We're not here at this time. If it's important, please leave your message at the beep.beep"

"Damn it all!" Vegeta(Goku) roared, slamming the phone to pieces.

"I'm almost ready, Veggie!" Bulma shouted out of the bathroom door.

"Okay, Bulma!" Vegeta(Goku) smiled, "I'll be waiting!"

_I have to get out of here!_ He gritted his teeth, thinking of an idea. Oh! Instant transmition! Why didn't he think of that before? He put two fingers on his head and concentrated. It was taking too long to warp out of the room. Vegeta's brain was too complex! It took long, but he finally managed to escape just in time for Bulma to come out of the bathroom in her underwear to see an empty bed.

_Meanwhile…_

Goku(Vegeta) was at home, enjoying the view outdoors through the window as Chichi looked for something suitable to wear in her husband's terms. Everything was peaceful until Vegeta(Goku) sped toward him In a brutal kata and almost slammed into him, sending both of them into the living room.

"What the hell are you doing here,_ Vegeta_?! " Goku(Vegeta) growled at him, getting up from the impact.

"Didn't I tell you to _smile_ a lot, _Kakarot_? You're messing up the plan!"

"Answer, fool! What are you doing here? Can't you see I'm busy?"

"Busy doing what? Spacing off like I usually do? Thinking about food? I liked the last fantasy I had! It was with ice cream elves-"

"Shut up!"

While they were arguing, Chichi came back downstairs in a red and white kimono that stopped below her waist. Vegeta(Goku) froze. Is that really Chichi? She changed everything! Hair, outfit, even her attitude was different!

"Is this one good enough for you, Goku?" she blushed.

"You call that short?! Try another kimono!"

"I-I can make it shorter…" she blushed even more, her eyes staring at the floor.

"Well do that, Chichi! Save us the trouble!"

"Okay, Goku." She smiled and returned upstairs to their bedroom. Vegeta's(Goku) jaw dropped at the situation.

"What did you do to my Chichi?!"

"I made her _better_ for you." Goku(Vegeta) smirked.

"Hey! You're not supposed to smirk! I smirk! Not you!"

"Oh please! She appears to like the new me. So, how's Bulma?"

Vegeta(Goku) blushed. He doesn't want to talk about it. Seriously, Bulma was going to rape him!

"She's fine. Everything's fine with her." He lied, scratching the back of his head. Goku(Vegeta) narrowed his eyes on the idiot.

"She had sex with you, didn't she?"

"No! No!" he wave his hands frantically, "She nearly had sex with me! What am I going to do?!"

Goku(Vegeta) folded his arms, chuckling.

"I'm supposed to do that, _Goku_!"

"Again. Shut up! If you have problems with Bulma in that department, just go with the flow, Kakarot-I mean, Goku." Goku(Vegeta) corrected himself and then replied, "You're in my body, so just do it! Since your wife is pretty enough to look at, I am planning to _plow_ her tonight."

"What?! You can't do that! Only I'm supposed to do it!"

"I'm in your body, baka! You can't have sex with her in my body! You'll freak her out!"

Vegeta(Goku) snickered, "So you're a freak! You admitted!"

"Shut up, fool! You know what I mean!"

"Okay, okay, but one more thing…"

"What?"

"Just don't hurt her…"

"… You're no fun when it comes to sex, _Kakarot_."

"You were going to do it?!"

"No,no…" Goku(Vegeta) lied. Too bad the real Goku can't see it.

"Okay." Vegeta(Goku) flew off, a worried look on his face as he think of what the real Vegeta in his body would do to his beloved Chichi…

Morning came, along with guilt. Vegeta(Goku) still didn't have sex with Bulma last night. He was too scared. They've been friends for decades, so it's a problem to him. Vegeta and Chichi, on the other hand, barely know each other, so it's easy to just 'jump and hump' (if you know what I mean). He went downstairs into the kitchen to see a depressed Bulma reading the newspaper and sipping coffee.

"Morning, Bulma."

"Morning." She replied, still looking at the newspaper. Vegeta(Goku) didn't like the look on Bulma's face. He had to get things straight again.

"Um, Bulma, about last night…"

"No, it's okay. I shouldn't have done that."

"It's not okay! I ditched you! That was a terrible thing to do and I'm sorry."

Vegeta(Goku) lowered his head , filled to the brim with grief and guilt. Bulma was touched by the the apology. The old Vegeta would just say, 'I'm getting bored of the same thing' or something like that. This Vegeta expressed so many feelings.

"I really hope you could forgive me-" he pleaded right before Bulma kissed him. It was sweet, soft and light, like a marshmallow. Chichi never kissed him like this, but she will learn how to, since she's in Vegeta's hands. The kiss caught him by surprise, and so did something else. He quickly broke off the kiss, his face red hot from his reaction.

"I-I got things to do…" he stuttered, holding his pants, "Training and stuff... See you later!"

Bulma smiled as a frantic Vegeta, which is really Goku, sped off into the gravity room. He may act strange about the sex thing, but as long as he's sensitive, she prefers him this way.

That's the end of Chapter3! SIGH I finally got another chapter typed down so don't panic!


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